For fashionably impoverished ladies everywhere, it is also a fantastic time to clean out your closet and host or attend a clothing swap. That is why this week's post will feature my clothing swap survival guide.
Without further ado: Clothing Swap 101
What the Fuck is a Clothing Swap?
The concept of a clothing swap is fairly simple and also purely genius: you and all your friends clean out your closets, dressers, bunkers, etc. and grab all the clothing, accessories, shoes, and other assorted items that you no longer want. Then you haul your unwanted goodies to an agreed upon location (generally someone's house) at an agreed upon time, to swap said items. It's a great way to get rid of clothes that no longer fit (or let's be honest, never really did), or that you are just over for whatever reason, and get a whole new fabulous, pre-loved wardrobe for freesies.
General Ground Rules
1. Get What You Give
If someone brings a tiny bag of clothes compared to everyone else, they should not be all apeshit about first dibs and grabbing shit left and right. It's just not fair. There doesn't need to be a 1:1 bring to swap ratio, but some common sense and decency is certainly in order. Take about the amount that you brought, and then if after the trying on, etc. there is a ton of stuff left, feel free to grab more.
2. Give It Up
Generally, first person to find an item has dibs on it. However, if you try something on that doesn't fit well or look that great on you, and someone else wants it and looks great in it, don't be an asshole. Give it to her.
3. Nobody Wants Your Granny Panties or Crusty Thong
I feel this rule is self-explanatory.
4. Backsies
Maybe you really were ready to get rid of that amazing LBD. That is, until you saw someone else in it. (It's kind of like seeing your ex with their new gf...) I think everyone is entitled to one take-back. Just don't make it a habit.
5. "Don't Mock the Clothes"- Carrie Bradshaw
For the those of us brave enough to take fashion risks, we are often hailed as trendsetters. Other times, we just look fucking crazy. So remember that we've all made some unfortunate style decisions in the past and keep your comments about that leopard print tube top to yourself. That is, of course, unless the owner of the item makes fun of it first. Then, feel free to mock appropriately.
Hints for Hosting
1. Your Guestlist Length Should Correspond to Your Venue Size
Don't invite a ton of bitches if you have a teeny tiny apartment. I've hosted quite a few very successful swaps with less than five ladies. But if you have a giant ass house, the more the merrier.
2. BYOB
Provide some F&B for your guests, but also ask everyone to bring a snack and/or (alcoholic) beverage to share. Also, it's good to have everyone bring at least one empty bag, box, or bin to put their finds in so there isn't any confusion about whose pile is whose.
3. Tell the BF to F Off (At least till everyone puts their clothes back on...)
As much as your boyfriend would love to be surrounded by shrieking, half-naked women, nobody wants him there.
4. Keep It Organized
I've hosted quite a few clothing swaps where everyone just poured their bag of stuff out onto the floor and then dug through a giant pile. While this method is kind of fun (especially after a few mimosas), it inevitably leads to utter chaos. The last couple swaps I've attended here in Minneapolis have been fanatically organized: shirts in one pile, skirts in another, pants in yet another and so on. Though it can make searching a little more like awkward clothes shopping without hangers and less like a motherfucking free-for-all, it is ultimately much more orderly and efficient.
5. Get Someone to Haul Away the Leftovers
If there are a bunch of unwanted clothes left over, and you don't want to deal with them, recruit someone(s) with a car to take them to Goodwill. Also, the upside of being the person who hauls the stuff away is you can try your luck selling the remaining goodies to a thrift store or clothing exchange and make some $$ before dumping the rejects at Goodwill or Salvation Army.
Virtual Swapping
There are many reasons why a good old fashioned in-person clothing swap might not work for you. Perhaps you just moved to a new city, and you don't have any friends yet. Maybe your friends don't have the same good fashion sense as you. Or maybe, just maybe, you are a creepy shut-in.
Whatever the reason, don't despair. Thanks to the interwebs, you can swap your items without ever leaving the comfort of your couch or the glow of your laptop screen! My new BFF LearnVest recommended these online sites for swapping: SwapStyle.com, ClothingSwaps.com, DignSwap.com and RehashClothes.com.
I haven't tried any of these yet myself, so I can't vouch for how well this works, or how legit these sites are, but Swap Style looked the most legit to me upon cursory inspection. I am planning to do an online swap in the next few weeks, so I will let you know how it works out.
Give a Bitch a Compliment
Not to get all hippy magic kumbaya here at the end, but one of the things I love most about clothing swaps is the lady-bonding that happens. Trying on clothes in front of a bunch of your friends who will tell you when you look amazingly gorgeous, and also when you should put the sequined halter top back in the pile, is way better than standing in front of one of those trick-ass mall clothing store mirrors and examining your cellulite in the harsh fluorescent lighting.
In conclusion, clothing swaps are a great way for the trendy-yet-destitute to shop without spending any money. You will feng shui the fuck out of your closet, get cute new stuff, and get to bond with other stylishly impoverished ladies. Win-motherfucking-win.
<3- hallee
P.S. I know I said last week that I was going to write about The Best Thing Ever in this post, but I've decided to do a special mini-post instead tomorrow or Friday.
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